NYC’s New Rat Squad: Desperate Times or Just Desperate Measures?
Let’s be real—New York’s rat problem isn’t news. But the city’s latest move? That’s something else entirely. The Adams administration just dropped nearly a million bucks on what they’re dramatically calling a “Rat Death Squad.” We’re talking carbon monoxide gassing, buried rodents, the whole nine yards. But here’s the thing: will this actually work, or is it just another expensive Band-Aid on a gaping wound?
Why Rats Own This Town
Walk any NYC block after dark and you’ll see them—those beady eyes reflecting streetlight. Experts say there could be 2 million of these furry little anarchists ruling our subways and parks. And it’s not just the ick factor. These guys carry diseases, chew through wiring, and basically treat our city like their personal buffet. The worst part? Our trash habits are basically feeding the problem. I mean, ever seen a ripped garbage bag on a hot summer day? That’s rat Christmas morning.
Meet the Exterminators Who Mean Business
So what’s the plan? Mayor Adams is throwing $877,000 at a specialized team targeting the rats’ favorite real estate: those grimy little dirt patches around street trees. Francis Fernandez—NYC Parks’ head exterminator—swears this isn’t overkill. “We’re at war,” he told reporters. And war it is, with carbon monoxide tanks and sealed burrows replacing traditional poison. Honestly? The imagery is straight out of a dystopian novel.
How This Rat War Actually Works
Gas Attack (But Make It “Humane”)
Here’s the play-by-play: find active burrows, pump in CO until the rats suffocate, then seal the tomb. The city claims it’s quicker than poison—no drawn-out suffering. But let’s be honest, “humane extermination” sounds about as realistic as “friendly divorce.” Animal rights folks are already up in arms, and I kinda get it. Still, try explaining ethics to a rat gnawing through your apartment wall at 3 AM.
Why Tree Beds Are Ground Zero
Those sad patches of dirt around street trees? Turns out they’re rat paradise—easy digging, leftover food scraps, zero rent. The squad’s strategy makes sense: hit them where they live. But with 600,000 tree beds citywide, this is like playing whack-a-mole with a flamethrower.
What People Are Saying
The “Finally!” Crowd
“About damn time,” says my neighbor Maria, who once found a rat drowning in her toilet. City officials swear this will cut disease rates and make sidewalks less obstacle courses. Can’t argue with that.
The “This Is BS” Camp
PETA’s calling it cruel (shocking). Budget hawks ask why we’re gassing rats when subway stations smell like porta-potties. And then there’s the sanitation worker who told me, “We could fix this with sealed bins and actual fines for littering.” He’s not wrong.
How Other Cities Handle Their Rat Drama
Chicago freezes burrows with dry ice—very sci-fi. London’s testing rat birth control (no joke). NYC? We went full scorched earth. Typical.
What Comes Next?
If this works, expect expansion to housing projects and subway tunnels. But long-term? We need better trash systems, period. Until then, the Death Squad rolls on—one gassed nest at a time.
The Bottom Line
This is either genius or insanity. Maybe both. At $877K, we’ll find out soon enough. Meanwhile, I’ll be watching my step on garbage day.
Think this is brilliant or bonkers? Hit up your council member. Or better yet—stop throwing pizza crusts in the street.
Source: NY Post – US News
